Dealing with Annoying Roommates

By J S

Stressed

You’re a college junior and your annoying roommates either won’t shut up or won’t stop smoking marijuana in the room, even when you tell them not to. You’re annoyed, stressed about exams, stressed about your girlfriend, and (worst of all) you have no idea what to get her for valentine’s day… Well, I can only help you with the “annoying roommate” problem.

So…

Here’s the story, I currently live with some of the most annoying roommates in the world. My previous roommate only needed an extra semester, so this spring 2013 semester, my precious alma mater bestowed upon me an interesting, pot-smoking, fellow. As a pre-med, I thought I was already fucked having suite-mates that plays video games all day. Oh, did I mention that my suite-mates are “DJs?” 

So, what does someone do when bombarded with the constant noise, aroma of cannabis, and stress? The answer – well, not bitch about it really (because even if you did, nothing’s gonna change). You see, victims out there going through the same situation, despite your clear alpha and ambitious personality, you’re all still introverts at heart. Let me guess, you probably tried telling your roommates that you study 24/7. You probably tried telling them not to smoke mary-jays because you weren’t cool with that. OR you probably told them you were “cool” with them doing said annoyances. Well, you fucked yourself (just like I did). Now, how does one go about un-fucking themselves from this situation? For one, you can try to plot and scheme ways of turning your roommates over to the RA… but, then you’d just be a douchebag.

Okay… now for this stuff you’ve been waiting for:

How to Handle Annoying Roommates

Things you’ll probably wish you had:

  • Noise cancelling headphones, preferably Bose or anything but Beat by Dr. Dre headphones (because I already have Beats by dre and I hate how everyone else is starting to own one…)
  • 24/7 Starbucks… go find one.
  • Library… preferably one that closes past midnight
  • “Study Aids” (you’re close if you thought I was referring to Addys)

Things you’re gonna want to do:

  • Get used to studying anywhere but your room
  • Study with smarter people or in groups (positive interdependence)
  • Workout with friends often (get your endorphin levels up and stress levels down)
  • Watch youtube videos of white-coat ceremonies!
  • Get off Youtube… and Reddit… and Facebook…and WordPress…and Twitter…and Tumblr……
  • Go home often and eat with your parents/family
  • Set boundaries
  • Make a cleaning schedule

Things you’re gonna have to eventually accept:

  • People don’t stop smoking marijuana…even if they know it’ll make them apparently dumber…. even if they know its ruining their GPA…. even if they know its making them broke…  (Let me guess, they also told you about all the health benefits of smoking marijuana…)
  • Guys, for the most part, are pigs.
  • Your suite / dorm will never be clean.
  • Everyone thinks they can be a “DJ.” Fortunately, thats not true. (Sorry EDM kids)
  • It’s difficult to study in your room. But you can certainly try.Two teenage girls (16-17) fighting Original Filename: 76551260.jpg

Hopeful Tips & Advice:

  • Suck it up, go to starbucks or the library and make fun of hipsters and try-hards.
  • Hint your problem to the RA.
  • Tell your roommate straight up. (This actually doesn’t work, but you can try)
  • If all else fails, hey, at least you’ll be prepared when you’re a 40 year old home-owner with annoying neighbors.

Fun Fact: As I was typing this, my “DJ” suite-mate walks in and asks my roommate “Hey bro, you wanna burn? yea? Swagg.”

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2 thoughts on “Dealing with Annoying Roommates”

  2. This article is the reason I’m glad my school does not accept slackers or potheads. (Sure, you do have a stray pothead or slacker that slipped through the application process because of GPA/SAT scores, but for the most part you don’t have to worry about that shit here.)

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